you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
This will never work out with him unless I somehow learn how to unhinge my jaw like a python.
So apparently they remodeled our middle school. Looks like we'll need to find a new roof to play beer pong on this summer.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
This can only be settled by a dance off.
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
