I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
First thing I heard on the radio when I got in the car: "humans and dinosaurs used to live happily together"... I need to stop listening to Christian radio...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I woke on the floor next to a big TV. Apparently I traded my bed for a 52 inch samsung and a box of pop tarts.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
No it was fine, I've just never seen that many people eat dog food
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
there is a tent in the living room. its a vip tent room. i want in.
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