It made me feel like I need a reality show of my life so I could go back and watch the episodes to figure out how I got from the trunk of the car to my neighbors tree house...
thanks for being my friend even though im irresponsible with my vagina
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Can we please have a moment of silence for my reputation?
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
I think I actually have rug burn on my eye.
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Randomize
