I think I died a long time ago.
god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
when you get a chance can you look up 'free abortion clinic' for me? cuz i dont think i'll be lucky enough for a second miscarriage.
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
I am drunk. Riding an elevator. You can smell the beer. Doctor on with me just smiling at me... He agrees, fuck cancer.
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
The one with glasses said he was keeping my bra. He had me sign it before he left and he said he would be hanging it up in his bunker. I support our troops.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
Randomize
