the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
Made a joint out of my Yale rejection letter. Life is grand.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
im celebrating the fact lent is over and i can give blow jobs again.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
My eczema on my back is flaring up so he rubbed coconut oil on it while we were boning down. If that's not a picture of 8 years married I dunno what is.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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