I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
did you know delaware is a STATE? HOLY CRAP! i didn't till i was hitting on this chick and asked her when she said she was from delaware, which state that was in. crazyness
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Woke up w/ the same freshman as last Saturday but we were sober this time. Is that a relationship?
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
She got called into work early but she left me a note that had directions to her roommates stash of weed on top of a two bacon and egg mcmuffins. I think I win.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I FUCKED THE WRONG FRIEND HELP ME
We gotta locate my vibrators and get them stashed away STAT
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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