i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
he just flicked a booger into my mouth and shouted "goaaaal!"
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He had in his status he loved beating off and tagged his wife. another reason facebook should be for college.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
