This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
We made a drinking game out of poaching eggs. When did our life turn into a really awesome version of Top Chef?
Until he has ordered mozzarella sticks & beers at 2pm while wearing formal attire, then this is still my bar.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I just dont think you can meet a stranger after youve heard them cum through the walls though
You know its a good sign when a girl asks who everyone is AFTER she flashes her tits to the room.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
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