You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
dipping my christmas cookies in kaluha. santa would be proud.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
sweet sixteen by hillary duff just came on and i feel like i let lizzie mcguire down for being such a stoner
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You know you've been on Tinder too long when you're the guy cropped out of the profile pic. Of a woman you're still seeing...
He was licking my ear while recommending that I shop at IKEA. I think he's my perfect guy.
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