Are we in a gay sports bar?
So i looked up from her cooch and there was her ex-boyfriend
Awkward
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
You took all of my sister's dolls and threw them out the window and then you started talking to her etcha sketch and mr. potato head. I later found you passed out in front of Toy Story and it all made sense.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
There is no try. Just do it. Yoda said that. Or Nike. I can't remember. whiskey
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
where are my eyebrows?
Randomize
