Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I woke up tied to the door handle with reindeer patterned socks. You can tell it's Christmas.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
After you punched me you ran away and it took an hour to find you... On the wrong floor... Sitting alone saying "it doesnt make sense"
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
we started drinking at 4pm, somehows its 1 am im in bathing suit running from the cops.....any explanation of what happened?
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Accidentally mixed my gin with cold brew coffee instead of cranberry juice. It’s bad. But I’ll finish it. Never leave a fallen soldier.
Randomize
