I'm gonna cuddle the shit out of you tomorrow
ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
If you were wondering whether I accidentally FaceTime called the undergrad who works for me in lab during a particularly graphic blow job last night, then the answer is yes.
I'd bet your vomit would be flammable at this point. Can I try to light it?
We wouldn't be friends if you didn't.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
Just ran into a client at a sex shop. The meeting tomorrow is going to be really awkward as we both try not to picture each other using vibrators or role play costumes.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
When you licked the fourth stranger's cheek the bar tender pretty much ordered us to get you out.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Is it illegal to hookup with your fathers god child?
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
