Just mADE A PArabola og urine
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
How did you steal an entire pie?
I don't know. It's in my purse.
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
How high were you when you left that message, cause you made honest-to-God, credible seal noises.
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
Randomize
