Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
God fucking bless the man who invented the vibrator. Bless him and all his descendants. I think I saw the face of God tonight
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
I just got fingered in the Win-Co parking lot for pills. How's your meltdown going?
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
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