I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
It doesn't have to be a walk of shame...just pretend he took you to breakfast.
No one shows this much boob at breakfast
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
the police told me I had to sign a waiver stating that my car will no longer be used for crime activity.
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
Putting a bow on your dick doesn't make it a real present
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize