3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just bought a breathalyzer and Sharpies, guess who thought of a new drinking game
I might come over. Something about you makes me matronly and I have this urge to nurse you back to health with soup and a blowjob
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
When i like your selfie it means one of two things. 1. thats a nice photo, friend. OR 2. I wanna bend you over a table. But youll never know.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
tbh I think I just dated him for his dogs in the first place.
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Randomize
