I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
I could feel myself puking on my feet but it was so warm i didnt even care.
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
we tried to steal a tractor last night. you should have come out.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
Um of course I blew him. He brought me a shamrock shake. It was two o’clock in the morning on St. Patrick’s Day. There was no smoother move basically. He totally earned that head.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
just found out that she named her cat after me.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
Randomize
