A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
YET AGAIN, my financial planning for 2013 consists MOSTLY of eating chipotle as "brain food" and drinking Heavily before the Jeopardy contestant test.
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
