So did the night end well for you?
I stole a traffic cone and drunk texted my sister because i couldn't think of any other girl to text
how the fuck did you end up in georgia? you were here at my party dry humping some chick 2 hours ago
so you mean to tell me that there is no way you can get me?
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
There is a 1000000% chance you'll be turned down if you try coming on to me while I watch Star Wars.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
Randomize
