Just did a line with a monopoly bill. Tell me I'm not fancy.
You better get here soon. I'm about to spend $30 on a cactus online
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
3 girls crying in the bathroom at the bar. Its like a Christmas song
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
I gave the naked guy in the hotel a pop tart. He stopped crying.
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
did the thing where I quickly swipe right to every girl on Tinder & matched with my sis. God I hope swiping carelessly is hereditary
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
