I'm trying to bond with my sister... Its like getting to know a person I never met that I don't like
i just google imaged poop.
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I'm not even the least bit surprised that I whored myself out for tiramisu
Taco Bell is giving high school kids free tacos STEAL YOUR BROTHER'S WALLET I'LL BRING THE WEED.
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
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