I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Sprained my ankle at sky zone REST ICE COMPRESSION ELEVATION AND SHOTS it'll all feel better soon
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
It's like a bag of dicks covered in taint sweat pounding a pregnant baby walrus.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I might be a bit longer... I found a hot guy at the grocery store, so I'm following him and buying stuff that he's buying
Randomize