OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
also, i may or may not be wearing a cape right now. hint: i am.
After he finished I threw up my arms and shouted STEVE HOLT!
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
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