Ok seriously, can we bring back badminton?
why does hillary duff have a greatest hits album?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
he told my vagina that he was looking forward to meet it
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Which I'm also surprisingly fine with. If he walked into the bedroom naked, holding a fish in one hand and a lit candle in the other and said "Let's get fucking weird." I'd probably go with it. He's just that hot.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
I just called my kid butt plug. Does that make me a bad mommy??
This may be the most diplomatic thing you've ever said
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