the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
I'm so hungover it hurts to blink.. oh sweet merciful Christ what have I done
I dunno what's worse, the fact that I hooked up with a guy that shaves his armpits or that I didn't notice until he brought it up the next day
Dude you chased a girl around the yard and then fell over the curb. Face first. You got up on your own tho so you reached champion status
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I told him I wish we were at my house cause then I could tell him to get out after we had sex.
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