Nice 2 c u showing ur bro some affection
I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
Apparently she buried shit in the snow back in January and now that it's melted I found a flip flop, 4 spoons, a bottle of smirnoff, and 14 different candy bars
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
She bit a glowstick open. Apparently they burn. We bonded while she washed the chemicals out of her mouth as I did double shots of Jager.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
My one regret (beside the inevitable shit storm that followed) is that now I can't fuck his cute friend.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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