just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
When I was leaving this morning he gave me some candy off his floor to prove he was a nice guy... He definitely knows the way to my heart. Best one night stand ever
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
It was everywhere. My dick was a sprinkler of lost future children.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I invited him to my hotel room via snapchat. I'm one hell of a classy bitch
11:30pm - Shots together. 12:15pm Shots together. 12:45pm Shots together. 9:30am Plan B's together.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Randomize
