Non-Jews are for practice
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
As his dick went in he shouted GOAL at the top of his voice.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
You forgot your "boyfriend" from last night on my couch. You're suppose to bring that shit with you.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Just turned your apartment into a democracy and were voting on who takes shots next
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
its like i just tried to scrub the hangover off of me.
Randomize
