And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
cant go down on her man, her vagoo reminds me of a face hugger from aliens
I asked a girl to buy her a drink, she had I have a boyfriend, so I said, well i have a goldfish, she said what? I replied, oh I'm sorry I thought we were talking about shit that doesnt matter.
when my professor asked "does anyone know what streches across south america" and a kid in the back row said "my exgirfriends vagina" i knew i was at home.
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Whales. Broccoli little trees giant. Magic in cat form. I want my loco and juice. Black in shower. Brb remember life.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
I have fruit by the foot roll-ups. I wonder if a man could tie them together and make an editable bra....
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
Randomize