What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
He's still on the phone with him. This is unnatural. Dudes don't call other dudes just to talk.
he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
Randomize
