No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
something must definitely be wrong with me if i'm chasing after a guy who cant even get it up
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
Even my vagina gasped.
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
If anyone wants to ring in the new year with gluttony and yoga pants, let me know. As soon as it becomes a socially acceptable hour to drink margaritas, I'm gonna go down on a chimichanga.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Randomize
