She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
He tied me to the bed, fucked me and left me tied up until he proved to his room mates that he actually fucked me. But other than that, best sex ever!
he said good things come in small packages and I decided to hook up with someone else
All you had to say was "damn dude that looks fun, I miss ice fishing." But you sent a picture of poop. Classy
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
MIDGETS
????
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
