So drunk, too bad you don't want this
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Dude, if she brings up the lube, you know nothing
thanks for waiting 12 hours to ask if I was in a ditch or not
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
Can we agree to not tell mom about this?
This isnt even the most disappointing thing i know about you.
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
Randomize
