nothing screams I HAVE A PROBLEM! like the case of miller lite sitting on top of my DUI papers in the passenger seat of my car. lol
I assume you are not resopnding because you are having sex thus i give you a text message high five
I think my hot accountant is wearing banana republic. I miss the days when that ='ed gay. Signals are so confusing now.
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Did i mention i'm like the equivilent of a prepubescent boy suffering from preejaculacy? I just about creamed my pants when he grabbed my hand..
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
