i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Thanks for the three minutes of sex tonight.
Ended up passed out drunk in the neighbors lawn, still in costume. Neighbors thought I was a lawn decoration. Ten points for best Halloween ever.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
I think I have vodka in my lungs
I'm hoping he'll tell everyone how great in bed I am. Well, how great in bathroom floor I am.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
I just Spray tanned myself while high as fuck its either going to look like a work of art or terrible graffiti
Optimism doesn't exist before 2pm nor do any other emotions.
Randomize
