My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
we're making bets on your personal life
hey, i'm all for honesty but let's not get carried away
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Were betting on little kids falling and racing for a drinking game at the wedding.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
My face feels like its stuck between a ball sack and an asshole.
I literally was just rolling on the ground and said to her 'this is what dying looks like'
Like I'm sorry but "it'll be fine trust me" IS NOT VERY REASSURING ASSHAT. Now take off your pants.
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
facebook is just a cold reminder of all the times other bitches won my hookups
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
Randomize
