You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
For someone who's supposed to be gay Greg is really good at seducing me into things I don't wanna do
Randomize
