I got raped by $2 you call it's. I'm still hammered. And mentoring high school kids. My life is a joke.
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
also I just used a straw to drink the juice out of a tomato b/c I forgot how to bite.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
Back. Waiting on Thong the shuttle bus driver. THONG
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
If I stopped mid-sex because the guy was hung like a light switch, it doesn't count, does it? Like the five second rule.
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
Randomize
