I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
I need to get the stench of sex and broken dreams out of my room
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
I swear to Christ if it turns out to be an intervention, i will set you on fire.
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
I'm officially removing you from my nudes recipient list on snapchat.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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