I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
I'm still pretty drunk right now, but when this hangover hits me, I'm going to be super pissed. It's a preemptive never drinking again.
Woke up behind one of the fraternity brothers houses in the grass wearing a guinness hat and aviators hugging a 30 rack box with a zonie on my chest next to a campfire.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
The girl next to me looks like the young version of sara (bonnie hunt) in jumanji. I wanna be like PLAY THE GAME SARA!!!!"
I need five more minutes of sobbing.. AND THEN I will get back to studying
Would love to dress up in respectable attire and take you out somewhere nice and then do disgusting crude things in public
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
Randomize
