The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
So I'm going back to my apartment just to get my vibrator.
I thought you were moving in with your boyfriend for the summer?
Well....one will keep me from having to pay rent and the other satisfies. I'll let you figure it out.
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
somehow I got talked into dressing up like a hot dog, spinning around ten times, and shooting lay ups in front of thousands of students
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
Of the 4 nights I've gone downtown this week, I've been "piss in the parking lot" drunk 5 times
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I need dick so bad, I’m dressing sexy for the school pick up line and sports practices to entice a few of the DILFs
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
Randomize
