if he's not good at sex i should be allowed to have sex with someone who is. that's a totally legit statement i think
worst night to have a conscience
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I am not getting you a goat.
Fair enough. I am not going out with you. The goat was not negotiable.
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
You know it was one hell of a night when you need to use your own thong to wipe cum off your face.
Somehow i instagrammed my acceptance letter while blacked out. Then my grandma was the first to comment on it. I got over 50 likes....Phd here I come....
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
I'm really interested in the size of his penis so report back on that one
Randomize
