I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
Best friends brother. Beat that.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
I was so drunk that I didn't realize he was staying at the Waldorf. I walk of shamed the Astoria, do you even know what this means?
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
Just made macaroni burritos. Fukkin awesome. We'll have to try this when I'm sober.,!
Even though we had just had to physically take her off of someones lawn she was peeing on when they came outside, she still insisted on walking unassisted the rest of the way home. It was dignity meets shit show.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
she walked in on me throwing up in the sink with my pants around my ankles and I said "i'll be with you in a sec"
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
True friendship: When you can hold your best friend's hair and still eat your Stromboli at the same time.
Im watching animal planet drunk, watching a documentary on mermaids. Tonight has not gone to waste.
Randomize
