I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
i have essays due online every friday...im just going to write 'im hungover' for every one
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
life is no where near the amusement park it was when I was on Vicodin.
His bootycalls folder in his contacts are divided into regions, we should have all become airline pilots.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Some guy was coming onto me last night and in the middle of it all he said: 'It literally says this on my birth certificate: Francis Coburt: The Guy Who Can Pull Two Beers Outta His Pants Like Magic.'
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
The sex would be better if it wasn’t interrupted because his home detention ankle monitor needed charging. At least I know he’s not cheating on me
Do you even hear yourself?
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