she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Jäger goes great with personal crises and receding morals...
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
So basically he is jobless, a potential serial killer, and has poor taste in music? We simply don't have time for that.
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
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