1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
I don't remember. I think I elluded to the fact that I would buy him a dildo for his birthday.
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I'm driving up the street and can't tell if my ears are actually about to pop or not.
A solid 8.5 on the baked meter, I need to stop.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
By the time the opening band finished, she was already slurring, coming on to the gay couple next to us, and waving her panties in the air.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Randomize
