Would you object to my putting the bidet video on my Facebook page? It;s awesome.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
All I got from that conversation with the officer was "blah blah blah, you're disgusting, blah blah blah, $500 fine, blah blah blah, be in court Tuesday."
She looked at me and said "i like penises." and then passed out with her condom balloon animal in her hands.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
Don't I can pass these orgasm blushes off as sunburn for much longer...
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
my new game is to try to use the phrase "explosion in your mouth". as much as possible on tinder.
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
Oh I had the weirdest dream in which I was an archeologist stealing a golden dildo from a snobby British person
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