Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
You don't forget tits like those, even if you are vegas drunk.
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
I'll do my best. he just keeps yelling beer and doing dick helicopters
Kind of like the new iOS 10 because I can send sexts with fireworks or confetti. Really gets the point across
I am at a cat party and I just witnessed people lapping vodka out of a bowl for a contest. Lol
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
We'll handle his penis the same way we handle day drinking; together.
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