Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
He set an alarm on my phone to an infant screaming and puking to make sure i take my pill. its working.
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I'm on my way to bail our sister out of jail with our mother's credit card. How old are we??
I just matched the dude who's car I rear ended 2 years ago on tinder. I don't think he remembers.
so i put my jacket on last night that you wore last weekend, and reach inside the pockets and find them full of goldfish...
the snack that smiles back:)
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
Randomize
