It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
just when i thought things couldnt get worse, the batteries died in my vibrator.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
Not sure if you carved a butthole or vagina in that pumpkin but that didn't stop high Phil from mounting. My study group is horrified.
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
I'm having an emotional breakdown watching baby sloths on YouTube you need to come save me from myself.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
The Easter dress struggle is real
Yep. Just had to pull mine off to puke.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
A drag queen just ate a dollar out of my ass. I don't know which one of us has hit rock bottom
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
