me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
Drunken snow shoveling. Visiting my family is starting to become a seriously risky venture.
My mom just found my nipple clamps...... oh God why....
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
Is there a lightning bolt coming out of your boner right now?!
I woke up with a black eye and a buttplug...not sure I really want to know what happened.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
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