Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
to do: lose virginity to hamster dance
I got her a Nickelback box set.
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
i'd like to schedule a penis for 4pm please.
Randomize
