sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I don't understand why everytime I fuck his bestfriend he seems more interested in me...
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Novelty of the week: Getting my lipstick back in an evidence bag
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
He wasn't excited for the fifty shades of grey trailer, so I told him we're done
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I caught myself caressing my own hand while nurturing a glass of bourbon. I think it's time to get back out there.
I think the cop who arrested me yesterday is at my gym rn should I say hi
Randomize
