I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Any time you can't remember a night, and you wake up in a sorority house, it's fucking worth it.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
She walked out and announced that he was now part of our confused, incestuous, glorious eskimo family. I've never been more proud.
Campus is too small for this to keep happening
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I love you man but my hope is that you will not wake me up again by pissing on me
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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