When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Ran into that hot funeral director in the bar two days after the wake. pretty sure we drunk made out.
Grandpa would have been proud
All I heard was "You have collect call from Lafayette Parish Jail for Dude it was awesome! I'll tell you about it later!"
Nobody knows who the hobo or dude who whipped out his balls is
He's under the table sobbing because he doesn't live in a taco if you ever get him this high again I will stab you
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I needed 3am water. Not 3am shots of rum.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Please don't buy a buttplug. It won't fill the empty space in your heart.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
