When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
I wonder if they have a "21st birthday" section in the hospital..
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Apparently I offered the cop my Taco Bell.
Desperate times...
Randomize
