I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
Wait do you remember that guy last night asking to use my nose ring to open his beer.......
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
gonna guess the empty vodka bottle and open can of tuna in the bathroom drawer are related?
I can't tell if you're talking about my pussy or Cape Cod.
You know that voice that tells you to do something spontaneous after 1am? Don't listen to it.
He jerked off some dude with a slice of Wonder Bread.
The sports guy?
Yeah. They claimed the bread made it hetero
You know it's a good May 2-4 when it involves 14 straight hours of vodka slush and garlic bread
Randomize
