I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
so after six weeks of dating she admitted shes bi and asked if it would freak me out if we brought another girl into the bedroom. i said no in this hesitant voice and she said 'if you let me dont worry ill make it up to you'
i literally fucking hate you so fucking much.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
We bought home drug tests to see which of us could make it look more like a kaleidoscope. What happened to the days of innocent fun trying to best everyone with a breathalyzer?
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
They had their heads out of the car singing the wrong words to the national anthem as we drove through traffic of people leaving the fireworks. AMURICA
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I wish there was a morning after pill for dominoes.
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
I swear I only fuck him for the huge bottle of smart water he gives me afterwards.
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