Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
...and with one comment dissing Hannibal Lecter, I suddenly understood why we never worked out.
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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