I looked at my own cervix.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
I dont think I should be allowed to pick my own boyfriends anymore
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
She's started this new thing where whenever she drives by random couples talking alone outside she yells "break up! this is your sign!"
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
Some mornings I close deals. Other mornings I puke out my window while I’m driving down the highway
Omg. I checked my purse this morning and I'm pretty sure drunk me stole a frat guys tube of crest 3d white toothpaste. Like that's pretty fucked up but I think if I knew someone did that to me I'd probably still invite them over again cuz I'd be like, "this girl's creative, and has good hygiene."
Randomize
