I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Just got done shaving my balls. You were right.
I served up a girl her first a2m the other day. You would have been proud.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
I thought that wasn't a thing ever since she showed you her vag on the dance floor
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
You yelled "Everybody!!! Round of applause to Jill for not doing anal!!" Right in front of him.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
i cant believe the cop was fine with you saying no we are in a hurry when he asked to search your car
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
I forget how to act sober
Randomize
