He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
Some dude at the gas station right now is buying a 30 rack of beast and a can of cat food. Happy Thanksgiving.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
I feel wrong giving my mom a cash gift full of dirty stripper money.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
I found her face down on the kitchen floor asking anybody who walked by for Kraft Dinner
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
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