just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
We were debating whether rain water is clean enough to drink. I won when he started throwing up.
Did I really just find a cheez- it box full of condoms in your room?
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Jasmine is diving into bushes again.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
At this point, I'd date an ax murderer. So long as he doesn't cry all the time, have ED, or leave me with his unspayed cat. My list of requirements is becoming increasingly specific.
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
My boobs look fucktastic, I have a booty call on Sunday and a dick photo on my phone. Life is grand!
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
I honestly have no desire to wear clothes around you
I have that affect on people
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