Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(401): View more from Rhode Island

and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping

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(360): View more from Washington

Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY

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(913): View more from Kansas

I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach

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(785): View more from Kansas

What drink are we having for lunch?

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(651): View more from Minnesota

Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?

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(803): View more from South Carolina

we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found

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(306): View more from Saskatchewan

this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour

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(240): View more from Maryland

million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.

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(605): View more from South Dakota

And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed

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