# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
I CAN'T DO THIS MUCH FABULOUS BEFORE LUNCHTIME
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I told him I was studying his body for art, so now I have to actually do a drawing of him to not look like a creep and so we can hook up again.
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
Randomize
