i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
i just ate a whole pizza and threw it back up in the time span of 13 minutes. give me the number to guiness book of world records.
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
Rather than admit to myself he's hooking up with her right now, I choose to believe that he's not responding because he's masturbating to my picture, distraught over his poor choice, and trying to forget about the one that got away with a heavy dose of meth.
I mean nobody wants to admit they ate 9 cans of ravioli but i did and i am not ashamed of myself
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
So now I can cross "have my ass be someone's phone background" off the bucket list. You know, if it was something I actually had wanted to happen.
You FaceTimed your mom in the back of the limo telling her how many guys you hooked up with at the concert
i just called dibs on the taxi driver at the bar that isnt drinking. im a grown up
So what your saying is you dont remember trying to hit a golf ball off my chest with a 9 iron?
The party pretty much ended once she shit on the couch
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