He bought me a flower. He's totally getting head every day for a week.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
Claiming territory at this party means signing a girls ass...I've got dibs on a blonde
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
All I know is I was dancing to Shakira in his alley and I think rubbing my junk on his car door.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Well, at some point in her life every girl has to decide how much weird she's willing to tolerate for hot tall banker cock
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
lmao he sent me a snapped but i'm afraid to open.
i think i have dick pic PTSD.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
Randomize
